Our sweet wedding planner turned friend Ashley, who just got married last September, is sharing some tips for brides who are introverts! In a world that is all extrovert, all the time, we want you to know it’s completely possible for you to have a wedding you ENJOY and enjoy planning. 

For starters, plan a wedding that suits your personality — it can be as low-key as you want it to be. Limit the amount of input you’re getting from well-meaning friends and family — you’re the decision maker here!

Make a small guest list. The first step you can take is making sure your guest list is small and intimate, so you feel as relaxed as possible. In some cases a large guest list is inevitable (say, if your partner has a huge family), but this is a good place to start.

Hire a Day Of Coordinator. If you already know you’re going to feel overwhelmed or flustered during your wedding weekend, designate a point person to be your spokesperson. That way, if there’s an onslaught of questions the day of your wedding, they can be prepared to answer them—which, in turn, will take the pressure off you.

Don’t do a receiving line. Greet your guests by going around during the reception and have one-on-one conversation instead of an awkward receiving line right after the ceremony.

Skip the first dance. There’s no rule that says you have to have a first dance. In fact, you really don’t need to make much of an “entrance” at all if you have a cocktail hour prior to the reception and simply walk in with your guests. You can happily hit the dance floor later on once your guests are out there movin’ and groovin’ too.

Escape. Step away if you need to during the reception, go to the powder room, go for a little walk, have a drink of water, and then come back to your reception refreshed.

Don’t cut the cake. So you want cake (obviously), but you don’t want everyone staring at you while you cut it. It’s a good idea to have a big dessert table to begin with, so you can simply use your cake as a centerpiece there rather than a standalone entity.

Focus on your partner. When in doubt (during your vows, for instance) simply focus on them instead of who’s watching. So no matter how nervous or anxious you might feel, you’ll remember you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.

All of this can be summed up by, you can break the rules. It’s ok. You don’t have to listen to everyone else’s opinion, do what feels right to you & your fiancé. 

Ashley is a wedding planner and florist with her mom at C & A Event Planning based in New York. (She loves to travel to this area though, hint hint! 😉 )