If you have a bride to be in your life right now, whether it’s YOUR bride to be, a friend, a co-worker, a sister, a cousin, an acquaintance….I want to give you a look into what’s swirling around in her head right now. It’s a mix of color swatches, first dance song lyrics, trying to remember when the meeting with the caterer is and trying to pick out outfits for engagement photos that coordinate but aren’t too matchy. 

She just got engaged and it turned from an exciting “one day I will get to plan a wedding” to “I need to plan a wedding right now” and the expectations started being flung at her. She might even feel like she’s lost herself because every conversation revolves around the wedding. The #1 question people ask her is “How’s wedding planning coming?”. 

We think we are being nice asking about wedding planning but sometimes that is having the opposite effect on her. Our society seems to be forgetting that a wedding is not an end, shouldn’t we be more focused on planning a marriage? We should be encouraging the bride to be investing in her future marriage…not just her wedding day. On the other end of those wedding vows is a LIFETIME commitment that only 50% of couples are sticking with. Yet seemingly 99% of conversations brides have with acquaintances, friends, and family revolve around the material aspects of a planned event?! Something’s off here.

Bride’s know that you are well meaning with the questions about wedding planning but what about changing the conversation? What about being an encouragement to her by asking heartfelt, intentional questions? I know it’s not always natural to ask those sort of questions, it’s easier to chat about what designer dress she chose or the flowers that will be in season on her wedding date. But let’s get deeper than that…let’s open up the doors for a conversation that will leave both of you walking away encouraged. 

Here’s some ideas of questions you could ask the bride to be! 

1. What are you most looking forward to about being married? 

2. What goals and dreams do you and your fiancé have for your marriage and life together?

3. How can I help? 

4. How have you grown as a couple in your engagement? 

Or just forget the questions all together. Take some time to intentionally congratulate and share some words of encouragement with a bride that could DEFINITELY use it.

Have her over for a cup of coffee or tea, go get your nails done together, plan a girl’s night in with a good movie & snacks, do something together that is not wedding planning. Plan a time and space for her to be able to be, to leave the wedding planning at the door. 

Your loved ones who are engaged need you to COMMUNICATE THAT YOU care about them. Not just their wedding day. Time to step up and speak out.